i didnt go to school today, got referred to some psychiatrist by my doctor which is really stupid cause i have to go for counselling on a weekly basis. i'm not mad or like some crazy wacko who slashes her wrists.i'm just a sad person. not everyone who goes to IMH is mad. i'm so sick of people telling me, "take it easy,don't be such a perfectionist,you're only fifteen." casue thats bullshit, how exactly do you take things easy? is there a formula,or something that you have to do to change your attitude and stop taking things so hard? cause if there's one,i'd like to know it. people say,take it easy,lighten up, but you know what? everyone who's told that to me couldn't tell me exatly how to go about doing that.

i'm sick of not having anyone who understands how i feel,i'm sick of being sick of how everytime i scroll through my contacts list,i don't see a single name in there-out of that 223 contacts that i have-that i want to pour out my feelings to,i'm sick of pretending like i'm fine,i'm sick of holding back my tears not daring to cry even when i'm alone,and even when i do cry,i'm sick of chatising myself for crying.because crying is a waste of time and it does no one good.i'm sick of having to put on a false front i want to let it go,let it all out,but no one's there to hear me,no one's there to empathise,cause eveyone's so caught up with their own lives and i hate to cry in front of people and pour out my whole sob story.



i want empathy,not sympathy.