Its been four years since you messed up my life and not a day goes by that I dont think of you and how if given a chance I'd do it differently and get my life in order.

Just thinking about you makes me sick in the gut.
I go through it every single day silently wishing you were still here with me, going through all of it with me.


I cant forgive myself because it is too big a mistake to ever forgive.

I cant help but imagine what life would be like if I didnt make such big mistakes years ago that still haunts me to this day.


I hate you and then I love you.







Whoever reads this, dont even bother asking what its all about, because honestly, you dont want to know.

And I wouldnt even tell you anyway -regardless of who you are.